On Returning Home

I’ve been home from China for over two weeks now, and it’s almost as if I never left. It’s amazing how easy it is to fit right back into my life and routines even after being away for so long. I have read a few other people’s blogs about returning home after a long stint abroad, and many seem to have had similar experiences of falling right back into familiar paths upon their return. This phenomenon reminds me of something Thoreau wrote in the conclusion to Walden: 

I left the woods for as good a reason as I went there. Perhaps it seemed to me that I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves…. The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity!

It occurs to me that no matter how much I have learned or grown or changed during my time away, the people back home have carried on with their lives with little-to-no variation or change, and now I must reinsert myself, a changed person, back into relationships and routines that remain unchanged. In these circumstances it is easy to fall back into old patterns and old ways of being, which are sometimes “ruts of tradition and conformity,” without integrating new experiences and lessons. How deep and long-lasting indeed are “the paths which the mind travels.” 

Thoreau continues:

I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now.

I think this pretty much sums up my approach to China this time around. Rather than an easy, comfortable journey, I wanted a challenge that would stretch me and allow me to experience an unfiltered version of Chinese culture. True, there were moments when I did long for the comforts of home, but at those times I reminded myself that I was in China, so I might as well be fully present and enjoy even the beautiful discomfort of the experience while I still had the chance. Ironically, since returning home I have already had similar moments of longing for something else, something different, something more, something that even the familiar and comfortable cannot satisfy. I have realized that I don’t have to be in China to take a moment to enjoy what’s right in front of me. Even here in this place where I am much more comfortable I experience discomfort. And here, just as I did in China, I can challenge myself and stretch beyond my typical way of being to appreciate the sometimes harsh, though nevertheless beautiful realities of life, for I have had an experience that has changed me and “I do not wish to go below now.”

Ice. On a hot day in America there’s nothing like a tall glass of ice water to make you feel better. In China they typically drink warm, and sometimes even hot, water even on hot days. I think there is a common belief that cold drinks will make you sick, especially on a hot day. In fact, most of the drinks I have had in China have been either hot (or at least warm) or at room temperature. In fact, once I was told that if I drink cold milk in the morning it will do a number on my intestines, so they drink it warm. They seem to use ice for more practical purposes, like keeping produce and meat cold at the market. Post-China Addendum: A young Chinese woman recently came to Bryant University on a four-year research grant. When she found out I had recently returned from China and that I can speek some Chinese, she immediately befriended me. I have been enjoying helping her get oriented to life in the United States. The other day I took her to my favorite hamburger place in Providence (until then she had only had burgers from the university cafeteria); I wanted her to experience a “real” American hamburger, which she loved. The funny thing is I had our server bring us water while my friend was in the restroom, and when she came back to the table she commented on the fact that there was ice in her water. Even though I had just been ultra aware of no ice in China, I didn’t even think to ask for no ice in the water of my Chinese guest. I think she sipped it a few times, but mostly just waited for it to melt. A couple of days later she sent me this text message: “Why white man like eat ice and working in cold office?” (She’s experiencing the air conditioning that causes some people bring sweaters to work in the middle of the hot summer in the US). It’s fun to hear about the things in my own culture that are a bit shocking to someone from the outside.
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Ice.

On a hot day in America there’s nothing like a tall glass of ice water to make you feel better. In China they typically drink warm, and sometimes even hot, water even on hot days. I think there is a common belief that cold drinks will make you sick, especially on a hot day. In fact, most of the drinks I have had in China have been either hot (or at least warm) or at room temperature. In fact, once I was told that if I drink cold milk in the morning it will do a number on my intestines, so they drink it warm. They seem to use ice for more practical purposes, like keeping produce and meat cold at the market.

Post-China Addendum:

A young Chinese woman recently came to Bryant University on a four-year research grant. When she found out I had recently returned from China and that I can speek some Chinese, she immediately befriended me. I have been enjoying helping her get oriented to life in the United States. The other day I took her to my favorite hamburger place in Providence (until then she had only had burgers from the university cafeteria); I wanted her to experience a “real” American hamburger, which she loved. The funny thing is I had our server bring us water while my friend was in the restroom, and when she came back to the table she commented on the fact that there was ice in her water. Even though I had just been ultra aware of no ice in China, I didn’t even think to ask for no ice in the water of my Chinese guest. I think she sipped it a few times, but mostly just waited for it to melt.

A couple of days later she sent me this text message: “Why white man like eat ice and working in cold office?” (She’s experiencing the air conditioning that causes some people bring sweaters to work in the middle of the hot summer in the US). It’s fun to hear about the things in my own culture that are a bit shocking to someone from the outside.

Shopping in Beijing

When we got the fried soup dumplings in Shanghai the long line was full of Chinese and Foreigners alike, but on South Luogu Lane there was a place where only Chinese were in the long line. It was a sort of rice custard place—I tried the one Amanda got, and it wasn’t bad, but it’s not something that would appeal to a Westerner’s pallet. It’s interesting that we have such different tastes. Another testament to why international students miss their home country’s cuisine so much when studying in the United States.

The food in China tends to be quite good, so there are very few foods I miss from the United States. When I do long for food from home, these are the things I miss the most:

  1. Fruit (the only fruits that are consistently good here are watermelon and this crispy pear that I don’t know the name of—I miss good pineapple! The one in the photo was not very good).
  2. Peanut Butter and Chocolate. I am pleased to report that you can find peanut butter in China. It’s not the good stuff that I prefer, but it does the job of comforting me when longing for something familiar.

Oh, the power of food!